The Yale Herald ? Blog Archive ? By Yale women, for Yale men

Over the last four weeks, a new blog has been making the rounds on the Facebooks and Twitters of Yale students: By Yale Women for Yale Men (BYMFYM (bime-fime)). Its daily posts offer exhaustive advice on sex, relationships, friendship, and everything in between?see the four paragraphs from ?The Yale Man?s Guide to Texting? on the difference between ?lol? and ?haha??all written for the improvement-minded heterosexual male audience. With its witty prose and stingingly constructive criticism, the blog has quickly gained a following: It has over 8,200 hits, averaging roughly 250 per day. And its creators have no plans to stop.

It is easy to view the blog as a product of the ongoing conversation about the sexual culture (I mean, climate) on campus. Its first post came just two days after Maria Yagoda?s famous editorial in the Yale Daily News, and because the two share similar themes, many have viewed the blog as a spin-off of the article. But the writers claim that this is not the case. Over winter break, one of the creators of the blog, who asked to remain anonymous, was at home, having ?one of those ?boys are annoying? conversations? with her sister. She joked that their conversation was blog-worthy. Two weeks later, on Jan. 22, she and a friend posted the first entry on www.byyalewomenforyalemen.wordpress.com. Despite the timing of the blog, the writers insist that they have no intention of inheriting Yagoda?s war?they are simply giving advice. ?We?re not writing with a ?men are stupid? attitude,? one writer said. ?We acknowledge that people are weird and flawed, and that women are really weird and really flawed, and we just want to help guys understand.?

Despite the title of the blog, the writers are not trying to sling guns in the campus conversation about sexual culture. In fact, they make every effort to distance themselves from the vitriolic conversation. Humor is key, the writers say. ?After all, it started as a joke,? one said. They frame the blog not as a scolding, but as a way for the bloggers ?to share things we know.?

Even if they?re not scolding the men at Yale, talking to the creators reveals a definite political slant behind their humor. The writers agree that the administration?s response has not been successful in addressing the issues. They argue that Yale?s efforts have been ineffective?a bureaucratic approach to deflect liability and blame. ?We?ve had more productive discussions in the dining halls than in University-planned committees,? one blogger said. Both the Yagoda article and BYMFYM step away from this bureaucratic approach based in abstract conversations and awkward workshops about gender, sexuality, and college life. Both deal with real situations, trying to effect change on an individual, day-to-day basis. And although they differ in tone, both the blog and the op-ed use humor to address a larger issue, reacting to the serious opinion columns in the YDN and official reports from President Levin.

However, the writers of BYMFYM view the blog only as a project of friendship. When asked when they will stop writing, they all responded: ?Whenever it stops being fun!? In the end, one writer said she only wanted to follow in the footsteps of Madonna?s Super Bowl performance: ?The main message of our blog,? she said, ?is world peace.?

Source: http://yaleherald.com/culture/by-yale-women-for-yale-men/

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